I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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