I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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