Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
