The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize