i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
