I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
