I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
