I think I just saw someone hide a body.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
