Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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