I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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