the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize