I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
