I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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