what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
