he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
