Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize