Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
