honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize