You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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