It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
