it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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