is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
