So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
