fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
