we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
