Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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