Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
