I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
