i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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