I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
