he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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