dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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