That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he fucked my hip out of place.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
