he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we're making bets on your personal life
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
