Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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