I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize