I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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