I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
