Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
