I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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