My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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