i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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