Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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