you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
