I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
