I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
