my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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