I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
