Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
