Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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