Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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