At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
no you cant smoke seaweed
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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