I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
