I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
