We're like a lot better than the average bears
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
