He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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