I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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