Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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