So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
