shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
