Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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