Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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