Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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