ugly people sure do ruin things
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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