I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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