so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
