i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
