Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I fill condoms, not promises.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
