Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
