She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
