Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
