shes about as inviting as chlamydia
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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