They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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