just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
