In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
high people should be assigned attendants
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
