a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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