We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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