instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
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