the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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