The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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